Helloooo
So today I woke up in a daze with my mum saying to me
"oh so you're not going out today??" and i was like shiiiit how late could it be?
It was 7:48AM and i was meant to wake at 7:00AM lol dead
So then i fb msged anna and said that i would be late LOL
but i ended up making the original train that i was meant to catch anyway so all was good
Finally properly met jessica in person :)))
Sculpture by the Sea was on and it was pretty nice i guess!! but was so ceebs to take photos of each and everything so yeah
We did the walk all the way up to a beach after tamarama beach which properly killed us LOL
Snacked in the middle point at some table and chair with roof situation
Then we walked back
It wasn't the walking there part that really killed me actually, it was walking back.... that was terrible esp. when there were more kids in the way than before :( and old people....so many old people///
After that was done, went to bondi junction to look at formal dresses - no success
Then went home omg exhausted :(
Waking at 7:48AM today was like... death for me since I'm probably meant to be still sleeping for another 2hours so wasn't really myself tbh, felt pretty dead the whole day but it was nice!!! got out of the house :)
Be happy and goodnight ♡












Salty air

hello
It was the first full day at home by myself after completing my hsc
I ate breakfast that i made myself and that was it for the whole of the day for when i was home alone
Basically I'm stopping myself from eating too much
I edited vlogs because I could not deal with the pile of crap of school stuff - couldn't even dare to approach it
So then I just chilled :)
And watched PLL + victorious
Nothing really to do
So anna made plans for her, jess and i to go do the bondi to bronte walk
She made it sound pretty good so yeahhh HAHA
Anyway be happy and goodnight ♡












Start from innocence

Hello


Hello
You know lately I have been having really vivid and intense dreams where most of the time i wake up really upset and always need my mum to hug me for a bit before I can bring myself to actually get up from bed
I wonder why this is happening
Studied all day
scared
tired
achy back
maccas lunch
blhbhjbjhbjh
Be happy and goodnight ♡


[I wrote this yesterday and I did this whilst like I was half dead so I will keep it this way true to it's form... HAHAHA like wth is "blhbhjbjhbjh"???????]











When life ebbs

3U gods, be kind to lucy today pls : (

Hello
It did not feel like a Saturday as I didn't go to tutor, I wonder when Saturdays are going to feel normal again or at least when will I have a different routine in place where it can remind me that it's a "saturday"...  you know what I mean? I need something new to define my saturdays as i'm not going to have tutor to define as that certain day anymore

Anyway today I just studied formulas, did questions, past papers, yada yada etc etc all those things
As well as continuing to watch Pretty Little Liars which is only getting more and more frustrating as I keep watching it but in a way it's an addictive kind of "bad" which is why I'm still continuing this stupid tv show

A thought occurred to me today and I realised that after HSC is finally over for me on Monday afternoon, I finally can edit my vlogs that I had taken after graduation. I remember feeling quite annoyed that I had to postpone editing and posting them because I wanted the content to feel current but yeah it will be fine and I will have fun editing the footage. After that thought manifested it sidetracked me into jotting down other ideas for future videos LOL

ALSO I'm so psyched to read books after this, I have so many that are unread. In fact I think I'm going to take a picture of alllll the books that are on my 'to-read list' and it's quite extensive as I'm a serial book buyer which is going to probably be a problem for me in the future hahah
Anyways I think I should get back to working as 3U isn't a walk in the park. It's an intense parkour session on skyscraper buildings for me anyway since I'm completely incompetent at maths lol.
Be happy and goodnight ♡











thirsty for the next chase

Hello
Studied for 3U
Watched PLL
basically all my life is right now are those two things
I won't detail too much on the 3U cos ew
But god damn I never thought rewatching Pretty little liars would be this infuriating
They're so dumb and reckless (the main girls)
My favourite character is Mona. She's so precise and calculating. And most of all she has common sense which all the other characters in this tv show lack.
I also hate Aria's dad, that hypocritical piece of crap -_-
Anyway lolol sorry this post is pretty dry
Be happy and goodnight ♡












And you're eager to chase

Hello
I had so much trouble waking up this morning
I have this thing where I cannot physically get up when there's someone still coming in and out of my room or when my mum hasn't gone to work yet, I just can't get up
I need the room completely to myself for any waking up to happen >_>
Had left over pizza and pie for my two meals today
All I did today was watch Victorious whilst doing 3U questions
Boring - 3-
Be happy and goodnight ♡











how exciting



Hello
Today just hurt my brain a lot
I'm seriously just not cut out for maths
Well I am in a way but to input it into intense exam form, I just can't take it
Everyone around me was like "it was an easy test".....it wasn't for me, i fkn struggled so hard :(
Why do I even do 3U :(
The weather today did not help my mood. Humidity is honestly the worst. I mean if you're going to hot, at least be the dry, windless kind. I hate the sticky, inescapable feeling so much. But then, put me in a hot, dry, windless summer and I'll tell you i'd prefer humid. (don't trust me)
Anyways yeah so I'm just thankful today is over :)
5 more days and my HSC is over
Beryl finished her HSC today!!!! :) happy for her
I tired, going to go get some oolong tea to drink and watch some PLL before I go back to studying tmr~
Be happy and goodnight ♡










What they can't prove



Hello
I honestly feel like I'm losing myself amid HSC and I'm constantly reminded by one person in my life so I should be aware of this and I really am... but I don't necessarily listen like I should or maybe because I can't. I may be nearing the age of 18 but I still need so much consent to just be able to leave the home. I keep telling myself maybe this is what it's like for all kids that are "only children". Or maybe I just have the most over-protective parents in the world idk. It's like I can't win when I'm simultaneously open to the idea of having real breaks in between my hsc whilst having strict parents who want me under lock down for the duration of it. I can't act on it unless I want the living environment at home to be hell. Maybe I'm just weak.
I wish I could just have one sibling to balance out this pressure I feel or just the loosening of the reigns that my parents have on me...just a little? I admire emily so much for her attitude... and like her recent post actually made me laugh so much and i just don't understand how my mum especially can't understand that I need to do certain things within the a "vital" time to keep myself and the ones around me sane. Because this stupid lockdown bullshit that I'm under is putting so much strain on one of my most important relations in my life and I hate it so much. I usually wouldn't really blog about something of this nature but I literally can't hold it in anymore. I'm up to my last two tests and the strain is just getting worse and worse.
I wish both sides would have a little more mercy on me. Both sides are pulling my arms... If they both win then I die bc I'm fucking split in two... If they both just loosen just a bit of their grip, I can live and when the hsc is over, this tug of war won't exist anymore bc I then will be able to make my own damn fucking decisions...

Anyway, most of today I was asleep bc the stress of the complication last night didn't allow for much room for rest. When I did finally fall asleep i was constantly dreaming, I honestly just equate that to no sleep. So then I ended up going back to sleep after waking in the morning. Then I started to do work.
Sorry for writing so much about such a insignificant issue as it only really applies to me, as i'm not really discussing a communal topic right here.
Hmmm the only thing I can wish for is that it will be okay in the end. And if you're someone who is stressing a shit load over the HSC overall, then pls don't cos it's not worth it.
Be happy and goodnight ♡












Of unequal strength

Hello
Monday today and did biology test lolololol
No looking back is the motto :) Well we can't even go back anyways
Anyway, the only thing that really prompted me to write this post was reading emily's blog
Bc it made me happy and then i suddenly realised that i forgot about my blog as a priority
Anyways the first half of the day was gone and then going home I felt quite chill knowing it was only maths tests left
Slept kind of late, complication arose hmm
Be happy and goodnight ♡










Health in every way

Hello
Spent the whole of today just writing notes and revising as much as I could
Had oportos for lunch and it was good
Um pretty boring day I must say though felt frantic and really nervous
But yeah got through it
Be happy and goodnight ♡










It will
pass

Hello
mainly concentrated on biotechnology today (option topic) n yeah idk
went out to greenacre's main street to buy milk powder and buy burgers from dougie's grill!! which was very nice and they guy was so friendly; like i went to pay for an extra sauce and he was like "oh don't worry about it" and gave it to me for free :3
Had a nice chat with my dad during lunch
Anyway as for study, i must say, i rly hate it when it's so bloody hot
i only love to study in cold weather :<
Ok enough of my complaining
TMRW WILL BE PRODUCTIVE
Be happy and goodnight ♡











always another reason
always another side to it

Hello
To be honest, i don't even want to talk about it lol
I mean i didn't do that bad but yeah i really blame myself for not planning my night properly the day before... hmm what has happened has happened so i can't do anything
and according to greg.. a teacher from sbhs said that it's the hardest one in 10yrs... so that makes me feel a bit better? idk man
Anyways going to just study biology for the next few days as well as for 2U
Going to rest now bc didn't get enough sleep last night, i'm surprised i didn't nap today O_O
Hmmmm sweet dreams guys
Be happy and goodnight ♡










I would do the same

Hello
Went to school at the normal time before nine and just sat with all the ancient hist. kids and we were all low-key freaking out - dom was ofc ever so calm which wasn't nice to be next to bc i felt like i knew next to nothing compared to him but yeah
really funny when beryl saw writing on the side of my face lolololol and it was from my hand cos it melted on my face when i leaned on it
(sign from above to not cheat i guess lmao)
the writing was in the spot where people usually put their face contour to sharpen cheekbones
man i looked so ridiculous LOL
anyways the test was not too bad, finished 20min early
my hand was so dead and i was busting so when i was released, i just legged it to the bathroom
felt pretty good to have been done with my first test after the english ones...
maij walked me home halfway and omg it was so friggin hot, almost died
anyways spent the rest of the night studying for the impossible that lay ahead: economics
i fell asleep twice in bed when i was studying
decided to go to bed at 2AM to wake up at 5:30AM to study again >_>
anyways be happy and goodnight ♡










Only difference

Hello
Today basically I had to forgo my opportunity to study economics by studying for Ancient Hist. since it is a day before economics (ah the "bliss" of having two tests in a row) though props to all the people who have 2 tests in one day, that must be so hard to balance :(
Anyway yeah that was basically my whole day!! lol pretty boring sorry
Be happy and goodnight ♡











I'd say that it's nothing

Hello
Stressed the fuck out of myself trying to remember everything
From my Mod A essay to the quotes of both Easter 1916 and An Irish Airman Forsees His Death as well as techniques holy moly....
BUT I HAD ENOUGH TIME FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!
??????? wtf
And i rememebered my mod A essay and was able to adapt it to the question even though at first it completely stumped me :(
The yeats question was like heaven sent not like the question but the fact that there was
NO PRESCRIBED OMG I WAS SO HAPPY
Everyone was smiling so hard in the advanced section during the reading time LOLOL
And I heard that even standard didn't have a prescribed so i assume they were also relieved HAHA
But YEAH
ENGLISH IS OVER NO MORE FKN ENGLISH ESSAYS
Ahhh that feeling after was blissful
and i'm so glad I attempted everything :O
Whatever mark I get i will be okay with it, honestly.

Had sushi when i got home and all the nicest foods hehe
But i got so full that i didn't eat any dinner LMAO
As i said before, one meal fills me up for the whole day

nao studying for eco
RIP in rest for me: 4 tests in one week :(
Look at my dedication to keeping up with daily blogs
be proud of me guys, be proud
Be happy and goodnight ♡










Only a sliver

Hello
Today was the first day of HSC....
The discovery paper was over before I knew it which was nice lol
and i was so glad I actually remembered the quotes i needed for my essay and everything
Though i stuffed it up in creative ... :(
My time management was so off I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT WTF SUCH AN EASY PAPER HOW DID I FK THAT UP :(
AND IT WAS SO HOT (like would it kill you to turn on the aircon????)
my freaking thighs kept sticking to the chairs, i WAS NOT trying to low-key fart... i was peeling my thighs off the chairs -_- it was so uncomfortable! :( and the fml at the sound it made
AND WTF AT THAT VISUAL TEXT LMAO HAHHAHAHHAA fkn isaac newton shit

At night,
I stress cried so many times at night time when studying for Paper 2
I NEEDED RITALIN SO BAD
AS WELL AS PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY!!!!!!!

In the end I chose sleep bc that's the best way to remember everything
bc stressing and sleeping too late only leaves you too dead for the test
   ~wow obvious wisdom from lucy~

Be happy and goodnight ♡











Simply step out

Hello
Sundays are usually my chill days but today was pretty stressful as I was trying to memorise my essay as well as my creative and mentally preparing myself for the fact that I officially begin my HSC tmr lol holy fuck
#hateenglishsomuch and hsc like let me live my life :(

Despite all the mental pain, I had a rly nice maccas meal though
I seriously love create your taste so so much
(brioche buns 4 life)
Though, my appetite is diminishing ... like one meal is enough to keep me full for the whole day which is scary cos usually my appetite is monstrous
I guess I don't stress eat

I slept before 12 for the first time in a very very long time
I was in bed at 11:45PM....
I ALWAYS go into bed in the AM hours !!!!
Anyways, be happy and goodnight ♡










Acceptance of inevitable

Hello
It was the first Saturday where i didn't have to go to 3U tutor and it was weird
Had a panic attack where I realised I was so fucked LOL so I basically worked on english allll fucking day which was a pain in the ass
Finished JC + the prince essay for reals so my Mod A was out of the way. I tried to memorise all the poems but I kinda failed with that. I didn't even bother with Among School Children, fuck that shit lmao. As well as that, i started my "final draft" for the discovery essay in prep for monday
Mum got me hotstar, biggest regret to be honest LOL - made me feel so gross >_>
but yeah dead day
Be happy and goodnight ♡











blank for thought

Hello
My day today wasn't too great
Felt really not myself today
I binge watched so much PLL ... rly wanted to just neck myself
I then got a skull splitting headache which lead me to taking a 3hr long nap
Didn't solve anything to be honest, headache was still there
Had a stressful time at dinner and yeah that wasn't great
Then worked on English
Had a lil heart 2 heart with mummabear
Just showered and I think I will sleep soon
Really need to start to sleep a bit earlier tmr night
Since rn it's 1AM :(
Be happy and goodnight ♡











Too harsh

Hello
Felt quite demotivated today tbh...
But i watched so many Mimi Ikonn vlogs and omg it was really nice to see the world in her view and brought up my mood :)
She was in Sardinia (Blue zone) and she saw Sardinian Donkey's and  I fell in love with them... omg they're so sweet :(
Nothing reallly happened today, I started to watch PLL on netflix for no reason >_>
Alsoooo today was Lisa's b'day!! HAPPY BDAY!!!! ♡♡♡
Be happy and goodnight ♡












Too harsh

Hello
Today was probably my favourite day of the holidays ^_^
Mainly bc finally peer human interaction, hallelujah lolol
Made garlic, paprika, pepper flavoured rice just as an experiment to eat with baked fish and it was good!! Also made omelette which was so tender mmm
Kind of watched a bit of HPAPOA which was nice but then yeah
Worked on Ancient Hist.
Be happy and goodnight ♡










forever grateful

I look out for everyone in my life and all they know how to repay me is in anger and selfishness
And always needing me to solve their problems
I can't do anything when I'm so stressed out
Stop adding more problems
Stop it stop it stop it

Hello

• woke up the loudest winds - felt like the trees were going to split in half
• was awake early but then ended up waking at 11AM? wtf
• had a nice breakfast but then got told off by my dad for watching YouTube for too long so I went back upstairs
• worked on english 
• then worked on ancient hist.
• had a really filling lunch 
• mum also brought me really nice snacks 
• generally okay day 
• forever hoping for the next few days to be better~

Be happy and goodnight ♡











Take a peek into paradise

Hello

• woke up the loudest winds - felt like the trees were going to split in half
• was awake early but then ended up waking at 11AM? wtf
• had a nice breakfast but then got told off by my dad for watching YouTube for too long so I went back upstairs
• worked on english 
• then worked on ancient hist.
• had a really filling lunch 
• mum also brought me really nice snacks 
• generally okay day 
• forever hoping for the next few days to be better~

Be happy and goodnight ♡











Take a peek into paradise

Hello
So recently I discovered a new YouTuber by the name of Mimi Ikonn
Her previous channel being Luxyhair which is a hairstyle channel, I usually don't like those types of channels simply because I'm just not really interested in doing different hairstyles since I have such commitment issues with it. I hate it almost immediately - about 10min then just go back to plain untouched long straight hair. Probably due to the fact that I have immense amounts of baby hair and like after 10min they all splay out.
Okay I definitely went on a tangent with that. Anyways my other favourite YouTuber Amelia Liana recommended Mimi in her September favourites as a human favourite and holy hell what a great decision it was discovering her. She has the best vibes and her travel vlogs... omg they make me want to travel so much as well as the fact that she made everything in her life happen because she envisioned it. And I'm suchhhh a strong believer in wishful thinking, if you believe it will happen, it will. If it's real in your mind, it will be real very soon in real life.
Like that saying goes, "If there is a will, there is a way." But yeah she's just so inspiring. And you may think "wow, lucy is watching these youtube vids when she should be studying?!"
Yes. Don't follow my footsteps but hoenstly the reason why I feel so happy that I found her was due to the fact that after watching her videos I actually got to work. I didn't try to look for more distractions. And I continued to use her videos as my "break" material. They make me feel whole and remind me that I'm full of potential (as much potential as the next person).
ANYWAYS
Other than that I just studied english all day :) [concentrating on my weakness being Mod A]
Be happy and goodnight ♡











The only true way to live




Hello
It was labour day and so both parents were at home
My mum never has a day off other than sunday so I was happy that she could relax
And because she is like a lot more controlling than my dad I felt super obligated to study and so I just studied most of the day like wayyyy more than I usually would
The weather was cruel...It was so damned hot
37 degrees? I hate hot weather.
My house is double brick which means it's usually always 5-8 degrees cooler than the outside when it's blistering hot but it only applies to the bottom floor. The top floor is only 3 degrees cooler?
IT WAS SO HOT UPSTAIRS OMG
Like the difference of temperature can be felt as soon as you walk past the halfway point on the stairs LOL
Anyways yeah productive, hot day
Be happy and goodnight ♡












of mindfulness

I finished yesterday's post but like I couldn't think of a title, then I got distracted by something and then just went to bed.
(???) lol
And I've been writing notes for about an hour and then I found it just now HAHAHAHA wth man piss me off

Hello
Today I felt a lot more productive in comparison to other days
All I wanted today was sushi, I swear I could eat it forever... It's like the only food I'm never sick of
And yesterday I had the nicest sushi box + tuna roll omg
But today I got maccas which wasn't nearly as satisfying but it was still tasty - create your taste is just so good, makes me not want their regular burgers
Okay I'm going to stop talking about food now

I took like a 2hr long nap today bc I was so damn tired. I couldn't for the life of me figure it out but then I realised it was due to my fan. My fan continually made my eyeballs feel dry hence the need to close my eyes so much... so yeah LOL

Nothing else really happened today
Be happy and goodnight ♡











How complicated can it be?

Hello
Went maths tutor in the morning
Then went to campsie post office to deal with my tfn - the line was so long -_- and the workers there were so inefficient, pissed me off so much
Anyway after I bought some lunch from Hero Sushi ^__^
Went home to eat it and then started to do werk
So annoyed how #Worlds for League of Legends is happening rn . . .  I fkn love watching it and all the matches take so long... as well as the time difference makes the matches live when we're all sleeping (12:00AM-5:00AM)
:(
Oh well
I hope SKT T1, TSM and CLG do well!!!
Going to sleep soon
Be happy and goodnight ♡











the unknowns lie in your silence

Hello
I half worked on english and did one 2U paper lol shoot me
I watched 3 movies....The more important the times the more procrastination material lucy looks for it's really scary
Nothing special really happened today to be honest (as usual)
I'm going to sleep in like 5 min, I hope
Tmr morning I have tutor so >_>
Be happy and goodnight ♡











So why must you embrace it



Hello
Finally got up at a reasonable time in the morning idek why
Anyway I had a nice deconstructed smoked salmon sushi bowl which was delicious
Worked on biology most of the day (biotechnology) bc I can't rmb any info from it so yeah have to write it all out to help me out
Was meant to be a whole day of english stuffs but my mum's boss's son (who owns a tutor) didn't give me the mock discovery papers yet so I think I will have to postpone them til tmr bc my mum came home with them today
Going to tackle Yeats tmr as well lol lord help me
Also hopefully do one 3U and 2U past paper (writing this as a goal here so then more people than just me see it and i then feel obligated to do it??????)
Really hoping that works lmao

Also really annoyed at my skin... I haven't been out for so many days in the sunshine and yet I look tan as ever ... what the hell? I don't have jaundice? or anything so why the hell does my skin look so much darker when I haven't even been in the direct sunlight
So jealous of the people who are naturally so so white and don't have to even worry about it when they go outside

I was on someone's Instagram today and they tagged Kikki.K's instagram and that led to me finding out about the new 2016 Kikki.K diaries and omg I cannot wait to get myself one!!!!!! Pretty yearly weekly planners from Kikki.K is what i fking live for LMAO (sad life)
And people are always like omg it's so exxy but like trust me if you understand how boring diaries can get in the middle-last part of the year... their diaries keep it exciting... they give stickers and have little facts. The range that I love has different patterns for each week!!!!!! Not just each month!!! which i feel like is so worth the money LOOOOL
Ok... enough about that

I feel quite "chatty" today
???
I'm not sure why
Going to post this "early" compared to my 12:00AM+ times
Be happy and goodnight ♡











And several smithereens they will be